My Personal Story of Escaping a Cult - Part 1: The Inner Workings

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“Scientology always has been a game of power and control. L. Ron Hubbard was the ultimate con man, and it's hard to figure out how much of Scientology was an experiment in brainwashing and controlling people, and how much of it was truly intended to help people.” ― Jenna Miscavige Hill, Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape

I never thought I would live to see the day when I could actually relate from personal experience to Jenna's words. Jenna is a young woman who grew up in Scientology and went on to escape from the "church" at the age of 21. You can find more about her by going here: Jenna Miscavige. 

As a warrior, I thought I was immune to joining cults or following cults. Surely I would have recognized a cult leader when I saw one. Boy was I naive. Turns out, cult leaders don't come with big stamps on their forehead that say "CULT LEADER - AVOID". I was taken in for 12 years! Wow. 12 years? Yes. 12 years.

Having personally experienced being in a cult and successfully extracting myself from one, I wanted to expose and reveal how things really were in the cult. Next week in part 2, I will talk more about how I personally came to know the truth and removed myself from the cult.

While I was inside the cult, many tactics were used to keep me there. These tactics were so successful, I stayed for 12 years as I already mentioned. What were some of these tactics? Let's explore and reveal them now:

1. The Cult leader creates a very strong US VS. THEM mentality: My cult leader was adamant that he was "the source" to all legitimate information and specialized knowledge. Those in the group must believe this because it is essential to ensuring the survival of the cult leader. The leader can strive to create the us vs. them mentality by using one or more of the following tactics:
2. Gaslighting: There was a powerful personal example of this when the cult leader had said one thing on one day and another thing another day. A member pointed this out but only as a matter of asking an honest question like, "Hey, yesterday you said this, now you said that. Which one is it so I can know for the future." And the leader proceeded to scream, yell, and belittle this member in front of everyone - including me. I stood motionless I am embarrassed to say and didn't stick up for my fellow member who was simply asking an honest question. How is this gaslighting? Because the leader made you question, "Did he really say two different things or did I just imagine that?" Your grip on reality started to slip because the leader so adamantly defended his contradiction you began to question if you remembered correctly or not. 
3. Brainwashing: This can be accomplished many ways but one powerful way my cult leader did it was to make us repeat mantras over and over again. It got to the point where much of the language that proceeded from my mouth and the mouths of other members were not my own original thoughts, but a regurgitation of the mantras he had programmed us to spout. This can also be accomplished by emphasizing special terminology and "in-speech" vs. "out-speech." This latter form was HIGHLY prevalent and fostered an attitude of smugness and elitism among many members. 
4. Sowing seeds of dissension: It took me longer to figure this one out but I discovered closer to the very end of my time in the cult that the leader would lie about other members to other members. He would spread false rumors or tell outright lies and fabrications to turn members against one another - especially if the members had been good friends prior to joining the cult. This kept you needing him and feeling like he actually cared about you because "He is just telling you for your own good."
5. Making you choose between family/outside demands and the cult: This leader would host special events on holidays, did many things on Sundays when most members would have preferred to be in church and with family, would say things like, "real warriors train first" to make you feel bad for having any priorities higher than the group, and expected you to make significant personal sacrifices just to further the group's cause (which was never clearly defined). I shudder to think how many family memories and times with God I missed out on because I put "training" and the cult first. I pray that God and my family forgive me for my poor choices. 
6. The Cult leader makes fantastic claims that you've never verified: Trust me, I know how this one goes. You are referred into the cult by someone you know, like and trust. The cult leader makes some ASININE claims but you don't question it because your friend trusts the leader. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. My ex-cult leader made so many ridiculous claims it was laughable. Once I finally had the courage to ask questions, I realized I had never seen a smidgen of proof to verify any of these claims. Turns out, other "expats" had asked similar questions in the past and that's why they left. Because when they questioned the great and powerful "Oz" they found that the emperor had no clothes. 
7. ​Claiming a monopoly on truth: My cult leader would often refer to all other teachers & instructors outside of our domain as “posers”, “charlatans”, and “frauds”. Turns out, he was simply describing himself. But it is a powerful deception because he very charismatically and boisterously would call everyone else out (those not in the cult). Surely he is legit if he is willing to say such inflammatory things and make such bold claims? No. The charisma and personality simply serve as a smokescreen to prevent you from seeing the lack of substance, depth and character behind them.
8. You are told to question everything but in reality, you don’t feel free to ask any significant questions: I was very much in this camp. We were constantly told by the leader, “question everything” but if you really questioned him, you’d get yelled at, intimidated, made-fun of, insulted or ignored.
9. Other group members give the leader a free pass for completely inappropriate or immoral behavior that a group member would not be given a pass on: This happened quite frequently. I heard from many group members, “That’s just how he (the leader) is.” What would they be saying this in response to? How about making sexual advances on female members who were already married? How about when the leader would ignore, belittle, or demean a member? How about when the leader would mock group members to other group members when the party being mocked wasn’t present? “He’s just like that.” Looking back, I am ashamed of myself because I accepted this weak and pathetic response and tolerated this leader’s bad behavior as well. I didn’t stick up for my friend who got chewed out for asking a simple question, I referred other people to join our “group” even though the leader made me uncomfortable, & I allowed the leader to influence many personal life decisions even though I knew in my heart he didn’t care about me one iota.
10. There is always more to pay for: This one was particularly insidious in my case because the leader would do a great job saying repeatedly, “It isn’t about the money”, “Money isn’t a concern”, “Don’t let money stop you from moving forward” etc. I am all for people running a business and making a profit – that’s what businesses do. But you can’t sell “I don’t even like money, I don’t need money, money means nothing” and then always be selling stuff. It is hypocritical. Just be honest. On top of that, in cults, the members RARELY are told the truth about where their money actually goes. In my case, the leader told us that most of the money went to support the organization and that he “barely makes any money” off of our payments. Turns out, every last dime went in his back pocket.
11. The Cult sells you on “advancing towards enlightenment/gaining more secret knowledge” and has a tiered ladder for you to climb to get there: In my case, we were told level x would give us access to information y. Well, after I paid for level x, did 2.5 years of training to receive the license stating I was now officially level x, I never received information y. Suddenly that information could only be gleaned if I went further up the ladder. The goalpost shifted. The entire tier shifted from when I started to when I left. What I was told the tier was when I first became part of the “inner circle” suddenly had new and extra levels and tiers by the time I had left. It’s a giant shell-game designed to separate you from more money. As another example, in Scientology, people pay for courses designed to help them reach “enlightenment” before they become part of the real inner group and these courses can cost over $100,000.00 before all is said and done. Though I never spent that much, I did spend significant personal income during my startup phase of my business and life which has held back my personal growth and expansion. A very expensive lesson learned.
12. Do as I say, not as I do: St. Augustine famously rejected Manicheanism (a group which preached that all things dealing with the flesh were evil because they prevented you from being purely spiritual) when he discovered the leaders had drunken sex orgies behind the scenes and out of view from the neophytes. By some strange coincidence, the Manichean's were also a cult – go figure. Same goes for the cult I left. The leader would preach all kinds of rigorous achievements and standards for himself regarding his personal diet, exercise, training, virtue, where & how he spent his time, etc. but in reality didn’t do much of it at all. To quote Robert de Niro as Al Capone in “The Untouchables” – “You’re nothing but alotta talk and a badge.”

I could go on for pages more but this is sufficient for now. Why am I sharing this with you? Because myself and others who were and still are in this cult have been hurt. Some have made tremendous personal sacrifice of time, money and even dignity to join, remain and endear themselves to the cult leader. I am sharing this with you to implore you not to be naïve as I was. Here are two major points I want you to take away from this:

1. NEVER trust charisma and personality over truth and virtue.
2. NO ONE has a monopoly on truth. You can leave the cult and still find truth – the cult leader isn’t the only one with access to “the source” of all knowledge, wisdom and legitimacy.

I’ll leave you with this analogy: You cannot speak of the ocean to a well-frog. The frog can only imagine the well because it is all he knows. He has never seen the ocean or even a lake or pond. Ironically, the cult leader I just left would tell us that EVERYONE WHO WASN’T IN OUR CULT was like the well-frog when the truth is the exact opposite.

If you only follow one man, one “source”, one “lineage” or one “system” you have made yourself a well-frog. You have cut yourself off from the rest of the world – you can no longer gain wisdom, knowledge, virtue, morals, or life experience from anywhere else because the cult leader has gotten you to voluntarily cut yourself off from everything and everyone else (forced compliance).

Since leaving the cult, I am now free. Free to explore the vast ocean with no cult leader telling me where to look, how to look, or why to look. I have true freedom of association & can correctly prioritize my faith, my family, my business and my personal growth again. It is amazing and if you are someone who can relate to everything I just said, I invite you to join me in experiencing freedom. Because the truth is this:

If you leave the cult, you don’t sever yourself from the “source” and “all legitimacy” and you won’t be alone. There is a vast community of people who have “left the plantation” and who are ready to reunite with you once you take the red pill. But remember, Morpheus only offered the red pill to Neo; he didn’t force it down his throat. I will be as Morpheus, I am offering you the red pill or the blue pill. The red pill gives you the truth and freedom the blue bill keeps you a slave to the cult. You decide. 

This is Part 1 of the Cult blogs. Next week I shall discuss how I red-pilled myself and how I actually left the cult.