Today's blog is short and sweet but it is a powerful reminder that will help you in being able to more effectively protect yourself. My suggestion for your Warrior Wednesday is this: Whenever you seek out somewhere to train or to get information on, ask yourself this question - does this person focus on results?
What do I mean by focusing on results? Does the person sharing the information with you focus on what actually works to keep you safe or is their mind trapped by the disease of "style"? Too many people in the personal protection world care more about tradition, style, and aesthetics (usually the aesthetics of what makes them look good) rather than focusing on results & outcomes. You can only measure your results if you are focusing on reality.
This lesson applies to any field of study and to all of life. Maybe someone is trying to give you relationship advice - instead of focusing on the person saying it, focus on the outcome; the results. Your internal, mental monologue should sound something like: "If I actually applied what this person is saying in my life, what would the results be?"
It is important to consider the agent, or deliverer of news but at first, focus on the results. Many times, you will discover that the agent has different goals or purposes if you just look at the outcomes first.
In Gavin de Becker's iconic work, The Gift of Fear, he discusses (among many things) how charm is a tactic used to control another person. You will be more likely to avoid falling victim to charm and "smooth-talking" if you focus on what the person is saying rather than focusing on the person.
This is HIGHLY related to your self-protection in many ways. Some criminals are more sophisticated than others, and some have employed agents who do not look as threatening as tools to control you. Example: If you are a woman, and you are approached by a man who says "I lost my dog, could you help me find him?" vs. a woman approaching you with the same problem, which is more likely to concern you? The male. However, just because the one is a female does not mean she is above being malevolent. Sometimes, criminals use deliberate deceptions such as this to lure you into an engagement or situation that you would not have otherwise put yourself into.
I am not advocating universal suspicion of all humans but for the example we shared, keep things in proper context: A person you don't know has approached you seeking your help with something. This may turn out to be just as it appears (a man or woman who sincerely just wants to find their dog) but it could be different. Do not turn your awareness and perception off just because of the agent doing the asking.
Appearances matter, but it is easier to conceal or deceive based on appearance as well. Charm is a tactic, and people who "look a certain way" can be used to gain an advantage on you. Ted Bundy is a classic example: he used charm quite well in luring people to their death.
If you first focus on results and not on the agent saying or doing the thing, you will be more likely to arrive at the truth. The truth is what you want when it comes to keeping yourself safe. I want the truth about whether this person is friend or foe. So should you.
In all things, you would do better to first focus on the proposition itself rather than looking to the person. Keep the full context in sight and ask, "If I did what this person is suggesting, what would the outcome or outcomes be"?
A martial scientist cares about reality, truth and purity. We focus on outcomes and results - will this tactic, strategy, etc. actually work and achieving the goal of survival? Then we consider the person in their particular and individual traits. I recommend the same for you in your own life.
Live in the battleground fellow warrior,
Alexander Lanshe Sensei
Welcome to the Anatomy of a Warrior Blog!
National Speaker, author, blogger, and life-long student of warrior arts and science.